Time-wise Summer 2007

On the radio yesterday morning I heard the song “Oh, Babe, What Would You Say?” (Hurricane Smith  – summer 1966 “Have I a hope or half a chance to even ask if I could dance with you…”) and I’ve been in good spirits since. I’ve also been getting a-more-than-usual amount of stuff done. Isn’t it a marvel how something so simple as an old song can come out of the blue like that and jostle things, and reorganize something just a little, taking you somewhere different, somewhere unexpected?

Yesterday I resolved to do more stuff around thisCastle and to post lists of the stuff I’ve done so that I’ll be embarrassed when I don’t do stuff.

Last night I decided to kick my self-destructive habits, every one, from eating sweets to internet addiction to being overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. Maybe I’ll post lists of self-destructive stuff that I do so that I can be embarrassed about that too. Embarrassment can be a strong disincentive for doing (or not doing) stuff.

If I put one tenth of the energy I put into being self-destructive towards simplifying my life, think how much I’d get done (and I’m not nearly as self-destructive as the statistical norm). I should make up a chart, like one of those diet charts that tells you how much work you have to do to work off various foods. I would have to quantify my self-destructivity (e.g., I might set eating a slice of cheesecake as a single unit of self-destruction, and set everything else as multiples of cheesecake) and make up an equation to relate it to amount of work done towards simplification. It wouldn’t be as direct or measurable as joules and calories, but it isn’t un-do-able. Like almost everything else, it’s just a relationship between energy in and energy out – input and output.

Today I found this on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whA_Tl2vfwM”

Today I have two songs wandering in my head: “Oh, Babe!” and “Wonderdrug” by Jann Arden.

Today I: did laundry; reorganized stuff on the roof; watered and weeded plants up on the roof; watered the three new street trees; tidied and reorganized my personal space (bedroom, office, big room – an ongoing project) a bit; dropped in to see my mother, who at 4:30 pm was wearing pajamas, and when questioned said “I’ve been in my pjs for three days, and I don’t feel like changing, and besides, I’m going to bed soon”; bought power bars, light fixtures for the living room and dining room, potting soil, manure, one plant pot, and one outdoor plant (New Zealand Flax); repotted the New Zealand flax into the new pot; considered purchasing a sweet cherry tree for the roof, but decided that I need super dwarf trees for up there, not trees that are going to reach 8 metre heights (though it would be in a pot, so would be kind of like a bonzai cherry and might only reach 3 or 4 metres – I should do some research).

Today I was in line at Rona (the other do-it yourself store) and there was a couple waiting in separate lines – he left, she right. I chose to line up behind the woman, and then after a minute or so, her husband, believing that the right line would move faster, joined her. Initially I found him a bit annoying, but got over it when the fellow in front of them turned out to be taking forever with his purchase, and his annoyingness eclipsed theirs tremendously. The woman looked back at me and smiled in commiseration, and I said, “Bad decision.” She agreed then looked annoyed, so I said, “If all bad decisions have such trivial consequences, then life is good.” The woman looked surprised, then laughed and said, “I just have to put that in my head.”

This is me as the most obnoxious Polly-Anna, trying to infect the world with my joy.

Today I noticed that I’ve been eating healthily, fruit, yogurt, granola, veggies, salads, meat, eggs, carbs (not much – steamed rice, toast, pasta), nothing heavy, nothing deep fried, nothing high fat. I’m eating pretty high on the simplification scale.

Today I: skipped lunch; ate two Starburst, one red and one pink, while visiting my mother; spent  some time researching Althea Flynt (saw “The People vs. Larry Flynt on TV the other night); spent some time questioning Magic 8 Bob http://www.resort.com/~banshee/Misc/8ball/index.html) about something that I’m obviously too insecure to be involved with (if I weren’t too insecure I wouldn’t be questioning magic 8 Bob); let myself be annoyed more than once. In case you didn’t notice, this is the self-destructive list.

I need to ask one question here: am I expecting too much of myself? Am I expecting perfection?

~ by thiscassandra on Monday 2 July 2007.

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